Working in Primary can be challenging. Every Ward in the Stake has children who have a difficult time in Primary due to developmental needs, emotional needs, social special needs or just plain bad days. Having a plan for what to do when difficult behavior occurs can greatly reduce your stress. I’ve found that anytime I can think through a potential problem in a quiet moment, I always have more success when the problem arises. We encourage you to spend a bit of time in one of your Presidency meetings coming up with a stress management plan.
What can you include in your plan?
Prevention
Begin by thinking of what you can do to diminish stressful situations in your primary. Some Wards dismiss the Primary workers while the remaining congregation sings a song. This allows the leaders and teachers to be in the Primary room ready to receive the children with smiles and direct them to their seats. Some Primaries hand children who have difficulty sitting still something they can manipulate (like a koosh ball) to give their busy little bodies something to do in their seats. Many Primaries have a special signal to let the children know that they are getting too loud or busy. With some children, you can have a plan to walk from the front of the room and stand near them while teaching in order to help them be quiet.
If you continue to have a difficult time with an individual child, contact the parent. The parent knows their child best and can educate you about the best way to help their child.
“If a child or youth has a pattern of disruptive behavior, seek the help of his or her parents. Parents want to know about their children’s behavior, and they are willing to help. If possible, include the young person in these conversations; this will show your respect for his or her maturity and agency. Together you can make specific plans and later review your progress.” (Teaching No Greater Call pg. 86)
Pray for the child in your personal and as a Presidency. Ask for inspiration in how to meet their needs and ask to be filled with charity towards the child.
What kinds of things can you plan to implement in your Primary to prevent stressful situations?
Dealing with stress when it arrives
Even with planning, you are still going to have days where children misbehave and you become frustrated. Have a plan for how you can lessen your own stress so you can respond to children with love and patience. The most difficult thing is to recognize when you are getting to the end of your rope. Being self aware can help you realize that you need to implement your stress management plan.
Remember the words of Brigham Young, “Never chasten beyond the balm you have within you to bind up”.
What kinds of things might you include in your plan?
1. As you notice that a particular child’s (or entire Primary’s) behavior is really bothering you, close your eyes and slowly count to ten. Take a deep breath. Say a quick prayer that the Spirit will guide you and strengthen you.
2. If the behavior continues to cause you stress, ask another member of the Presidency or a teacher to address the situation.
3. Give yourself permission to take a time out. Communicate with the other members of the Presidency and take the time to leave the situation, get a drink of water, walk outside, do whatever you need to de-escalate the stress in yourself.
4. If the child continues to misbehave, it may be necessary to bring the child to his/her parent or to invite the parent to come attend Primary with their child.
By creating a plan for dealing with stressful situations in Primary, you will be able to follow the council in D&C 121:43 “Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;”
“In applying this counsel, it is helpful to understand the words betimes and sharpness. Betimes means promptly or in good time. In this passage, sharpness refers to the need to give clear, well-defined instructions.
You should be gentle and meek when giving correction. Note that reproving should be done only “when moved upon by the Holy Ghost” and should be followed by an increase of love.” (Teaching No Greater Call, pg. 86)
We, the Stake Primary Presidency, love you and pray for you. We are inspired by the ways you reach out to the children in your Ward and seek to draw them to Christ. Thank you for your service.
Stephanie Dickson
secretary
What can you include in your plan?
Prevention
Begin by thinking of what you can do to diminish stressful situations in your primary. Some Wards dismiss the Primary workers while the remaining congregation sings a song. This allows the leaders and teachers to be in the Primary room ready to receive the children with smiles and direct them to their seats. Some Primaries hand children who have difficulty sitting still something they can manipulate (like a koosh ball) to give their busy little bodies something to do in their seats. Many Primaries have a special signal to let the children know that they are getting too loud or busy. With some children, you can have a plan to walk from the front of the room and stand near them while teaching in order to help them be quiet.
If you continue to have a difficult time with an individual child, contact the parent. The parent knows their child best and can educate you about the best way to help their child.
“If a child or youth has a pattern of disruptive behavior, seek the help of his or her parents. Parents want to know about their children’s behavior, and they are willing to help. If possible, include the young person in these conversations; this will show your respect for his or her maturity and agency. Together you can make specific plans and later review your progress.” (Teaching No Greater Call pg. 86)
Pray for the child in your personal and as a Presidency. Ask for inspiration in how to meet their needs and ask to be filled with charity towards the child.
What kinds of things can you plan to implement in your Primary to prevent stressful situations?
Dealing with stress when it arrives
Even with planning, you are still going to have days where children misbehave and you become frustrated. Have a plan for how you can lessen your own stress so you can respond to children with love and patience. The most difficult thing is to recognize when you are getting to the end of your rope. Being self aware can help you realize that you need to implement your stress management plan.
Remember the words of Brigham Young, “Never chasten beyond the balm you have within you to bind up”.
What kinds of things might you include in your plan?
1. As you notice that a particular child’s (or entire Primary’s) behavior is really bothering you, close your eyes and slowly count to ten. Take a deep breath. Say a quick prayer that the Spirit will guide you and strengthen you.
2. If the behavior continues to cause you stress, ask another member of the Presidency or a teacher to address the situation.
3. Give yourself permission to take a time out. Communicate with the other members of the Presidency and take the time to leave the situation, get a drink of water, walk outside, do whatever you need to de-escalate the stress in yourself.
4. If the child continues to misbehave, it may be necessary to bring the child to his/her parent or to invite the parent to come attend Primary with their child.
By creating a plan for dealing with stressful situations in Primary, you will be able to follow the council in D&C 121:43 “Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;”
“In applying this counsel, it is helpful to understand the words betimes and sharpness. Betimes means promptly or in good time. In this passage, sharpness refers to the need to give clear, well-defined instructions.
You should be gentle and meek when giving correction. Note that reproving should be done only “when moved upon by the Holy Ghost” and should be followed by an increase of love.” (Teaching No Greater Call, pg. 86)
We, the Stake Primary Presidency, love you and pray for you. We are inspired by the ways you reach out to the children in your Ward and seek to draw them to Christ. Thank you for your service.
Stephanie Dickson
secretary
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